Just a random idea on a Friday
Logan
I originally wrote this 5 years ago and it pretty much still holds true. It would be Logan’s 27th birthday soon and I still get a little agitated when it comes around. The phrase “Time heals all wounds” is somewhat correct. The stunning sadness and uncontrollable anger of all those years ago has faded. The hurt, is still there and I will never be fully over the loss. I am not the same man I was back in 1996 (thankfully) but neither am I the same man that wrote this just five years ago. I know someday that I will be greeted at Heaven’s gate by all of my family that went before me, and my Logan will be right up front. For that alone, I look forward to leaving this life and embracing a new beginning.
“This marks Logan’s 22nd birthday. I am unsure why but for the first time the date showed up and somewhat surprised me. I am always very aware of March 21st, I know when it will be here and what day of the week it is on. I even get a little grumpy during the week, less so each passing year, but I still notice it.
My son was lost to us before he had a chance to meet us. It is, to this day, the worst event in my life. Losing my father was bad, but not nearly as bad as losing a child. His death triggered something very special in my life, a desire to see the Lord. Without his loss, I am unsure if I would’ve changed the way I did.
Yes I was angry, mad at God for taking my son. I was bitter for a very long time, but because of people I met after losing him, I realized there were no real answers coming. I would never fully understand what happened, nor why.
I found solace in various books about bad things happening to good people. I grieved deeply at a loss I could not understand, that I could do nothing about. Eventually I returned to prayer and going to church. God had been waiting for me to return and I finally did one day in 1996.
It is not easy giving up your anger and pain, I still retain some of both to this day. He provided comfort and mercy to me and my family. I spent many days still sad and angry, but those lessened each passing year. He provided me with a relief valve when I needed it, He held me when I was unable to keep going. He gave me the ability to cope, one day at a time.
I will never stop missing my son, but one day I will know him. One day I will understand why we lost him.I don’t know when that will be, but I know these things will happen, I will be whole again.”
Faith
Why is it that some folks have such a hard time believing in God? Is it because we often try to reason through issues like “How can evil exist if God is good?” You wouldn’t be the first to stumble on that question. Many struggle with the idea of evil, it can be a large obstacle to believing in God. But consider this, without a concept of ultimate good, how can we have any idea of what evil is?
I believe the limit of my knowledge prevents me from being able to understand how God could allow the pain and suffering we see in the world each day. But I also believe that God is not limited, that he uses these situations to bring us closer to him, that he has allowed these things to happen for our own greater good.
We may not understand them now, but we will have the opportunity to understand them once we join the Lord. The Weaver by Grant Colfax Tuller My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me. I cannot choose the colors, He worketh steadily. Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride, Forget He sees the upper and I the underside. Not till the looms are silent and the shuttles cease to fly, Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
A little knowledge is helpful, but a little faith goes much further. You have to try very hard to deny the existence of God, but very little effort is needed to believe in Him. The Bible says (Proverbs 8:17 among many) I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. It does not say all will find Him. It says some, those that seek.
If our hearts are working to discover God, then we will. It has been said that God shows just enough of Himself so we can find Him if we are looking. Seems pretty simple after all. Seek Him out, He is there for us. Of course, you could blind yourself to the clues that are there, try to deny they exist, but then that would be a lot of hard work.
Little Things
Sometimes it’s the little things that make a difference in someones life. Visiting with elderly parents and bringing dinner. Playing a favorite game with them and needling each other (just in fun of course). Taking down the garbage for someone who has a tough time getting down the stairs of their house, or making sure they have some wine and soda in their fridge since they don’t drive as much.
Little things matter, and we really don’t have any idea how much until someone does something like that for us. A grateful smile, or a hug means so much. In this busy world we sometimes miss out on those queues as we are so busy moving on to the next thing, or next item on our to do list.
Take the time to do some small things, not only for others, but for yourself. Doing little things can remove stress from your life as well as that of others. I’ve found that if I notice an item that needs to be put away, or a service on the car (yes, I still try and do most of the work on my cars) that I should do it when I recognize it or I may just forget and then someone else notices and asks me why that hasn’t been done yet (since I mentioned it a week ago, or something like that).
If you do something for someone else, look at them, you will usually notice a smile or possibly a sigh (thankful that it is finally done either way). Don’t remind people that you did something, that is such a selfish thing to do. Do willingly, not because you want recognition or a thank you, but simply because it needs to be done and you want to help.
We don’t always need to do those big ticket items, doing some smaller things for others can yield surprising results. Everyone feels better and you grow closer with each small act.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
How to be Miserable
From an old piece of paper I found that, for the life of me, I cannot remember where or when I originally got it. So many of these items ring especially true these days.
How to be miserable –
Think about yourself.
Talk about yourself.
Use “I” as often as possible.
Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
Listen greedily to what people say about you.
Expect to be appreciated.
Be suspicious.
Be jealous and envious.
Be sensitive to slights.
Never forgive a criticism.
Trust nobody but yourself.
Insist on consideration and respect.
Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
Never forget a service you have rendered.
Shirk your duties if you can.
Do as little as possible for others.
Seeing ourselves as the center of the universe leads to misery. We weren’t made to be the focus of our own attention. According to Isaiah 57:15-21, we were made to give our hearts to “the High and Lofty One”, who lives with those who have a contrite and humble spirit. He brings comfort and peace to those who sense their need of him.
Lord, help us to turn our thoughts away from ourselves and focus our attention on You, the only source of true and lasting peace. Self-centered brings misery, A proud ear brings much pain; But those with true humility A lasting peace will gain.